real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
