"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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