I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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