on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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