Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she told me i tasted like america
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
