I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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