Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

(217): View more from Illinois

Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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(845): View more from New York

Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did

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(954): View more from Florida

I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.

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(716): View more from New York

Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend

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(619): View more from California

he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night

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(612): View more from Minnesota

ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue

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