and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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