i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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