ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
