I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
