My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My ass is underappreciated
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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