$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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