Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
