Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I did not marry a roomba.
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