So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
