She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
