I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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