Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
