am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
