This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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