We're like a lot better than the average bears
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
