Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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