Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
