Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
