Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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