So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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