i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
