so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
