That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize