I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
