this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize