yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
