Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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