my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
