Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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