Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
