She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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