I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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