There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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