Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize