dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
