Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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