At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
