first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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