so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
