too bad you live with your parents still
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
