he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize