Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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