Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize