We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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