We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
