Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
