STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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