i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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