i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
