question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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