Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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