There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
