I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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