i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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