What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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