I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We just shotgunned beers for America
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
