i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
